Thoughts

Chaos

Today my house is a mess.In fact, it seems like every day my house is a mess. As much as I try, it just keeps coming back and coming back and there is no end. I keep telling myself that when we have a bigger house it’ll be easier to keep clean, because we’ll actually have space for stuff. Or that one of these days I’ll get my crap together and pull this off. But it’s just not happening. 

There are times where I wish that I was one of those people that could stick to routines and remember things. Instead, I’m completely scatter-brained and disorganized. I’ll stick to something for a few weeks and then, with the first gust of wind, it all falls apart. And now it’s 11 pm and I want to clean my house, but I want to go to bed more. And sometimes I ask myself, “What’s the point?” because I know it’s going to be dirty within five minutes tomorrow. I love having a clean house. It just gets so discouraging when it feels like I have to commit every minute of my life towards keeping things clean and organized. And if I don’t do that…it’s chaos. And the crazy part of it is, I know that if I was more organized and disciplined, things would be easier. But I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how to consistently do that. Does anyone else feel this way? 

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