It will probably surprise all of you that I have never been, nor will I ever be, an underwear model. You see, after years of attempting to be sexy, I’ve finally come with terms with the fact that I’m just…not. That isn’t to say I haven’t gotten my fair share of cat calls. I was even told once that I was the most beautiful girl to ever walk out of Johnny Rockets. And I hear that’s a pretty stiff competition. But there’s a huge difference between looking sexy on occasion and being sexy. I’m the Bridget Jones of sexiness. I may get clean up pretty well and get dressed up all nice, but you better believe I’m wearing some really awkward granny panties.
Case in point – the other day I was going to kiss Eric goodbye. My plan was to give him one of those sexy goodbye kisses (you know) so I leaned in slowly and…made contact with his nose. Seriously? Moment ruined. You’d think after 11 years of kissing experience, I wouldn’t be making the nose mistake anymore. Apparently, it’s still a problem. I’ve completely given up on winking. I do this really dorky super-exaggerated wink, so I can kind of disguise the fact that I have no idea how to wink like a normal person. And let’s not even talk about the times where I am seriously trying to make my “sexy face” for a picture and then I look at the picture. Or even worse, my husband looks at it and says, “…Let’s take another one.”